last night's bedtime story:

THE RED HORSE

There was a red horse that was highly coveted by everyone in the kingdom because it was twice as fast as all the rest of the horses. All of the knights wanted to own the horse.

One night ("Wait, which kind of night/knight?" asks Sofia, "How do you spell it?") One night, with an N, all of the knights, with a K, got together to discuss who was going to own the red horse. 

Sir Reginald said, "I should own it, because I am the oldest and therefore have seniority." Sir Nigel said, "No I should own it because I am the strongest." Sir Gerald said, "No, I should own it because I am the fastest. And after all it is the fastest horse." Sir Alistair said, "No I should have the horse because I am the best swordsman." And Sir Findlay said, "Well, by my reasoning, I should have the horse because I am smartest!"

(Sofia suggests, "Maybe they can share the horse, each have it for one day of the week?" She's obviously smarter than Sir Findlay.)

"Here, Here," said Sir Reginald, "I don't want to share the horse and this is obviously going nowhere. Why don't we have a contest to see who gets the horse?"

"What kind of contest?" asked Sir Findlay. 

"I propose a history quiz," answered Sir Reginald. "Whoever does the best on the quiz will win the contest." 

"Pshaw!" said Sir Nigel. "You would win that easily as you are the oldest one here and know the most history. How about a contest to see who can lift the heaviest weight?"

"Fiddlesticks!" said Sir Gerald. "You would win that one because you are the strongest. How about instead we have a foot race?"

"Nonsense!" said Sir Alistair. "You would win that one because you are the fastest. I propose we have a sword fight for the red horse."

"I beg your pardon!" said Sir Findlay. "You would obviously win that one. Just as I, being the smartest, would win a contest of the wits. What we need is a contest in which none of us has an advantage."

(Sofia suggests a race in which each contestant holds one leg and hops on the other leg to the finish.)

The knights thought that was a great idea, but before they could hold the contest a messenger came to tell the knights that the princess had fallen in love with the red horse and decided to help it escape from the royal stables. Now, alas, it was gone with the wind.